Halloween Hi Jinks
by Animation Universe 2005
Summary: Imagine Shifu getting annoyed and pranked by a couple of teenage wolves making mischief and mayhem on the grandmaster on Halloween. What does he do? May cause little swearing. Didn't expect that, huh? Sorry! Anyways, enjoy!
1. Tricked by Teens

Had this in my head for Halloween, but I was busy with some other fics. Now, it's the best time. What if there were three teens that get on Shifu's nerves? This is the perfect fic for that. Warning: may include (for the first time ever) some minor swearing. Didn't expect that to happen. I really don't apporve of cursing in my fics, but I had to break the rule just once. And it's the one and only time. And also some crude humor. Well, enjoy!

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><p>Halloween Hi-Jinks<p>

by: Terrell James

Chapter 1: Tricked by Teens

On a clear Halloween night, Master Shifu was at the Sacred Hall of Warriors, just meditating away while chanting 'inner peace' hoping to find some in this time of night. Suddenly, his ears flicker as he hears the sound of knocking on the door. He tends to ignore it and continued meditating on, but it wasn't helping matters when the knocking on the door multiple times almost broke his concentration and got on his nerves.

Shifu groaned in an irritated way when the knocking grew more annoying than anything. He tries to keep cool and meditates again, but the knocking grew more louder and louder and Shifu was ready to kick them out of the room and he angrily went to the door, opened it and shouted, "WHAT?"

To his surprise, he sees a group of teenage grey wolves; aged 17-15 coming in the doors of the Jade Palace and the 17-year old wolf said, "Dude, got any candy?"

Shigu sighed deeply and showed his annoyed look when Po's doing something stupid and he said to them in a calm manner, "I'm sorry, but we do not have any candy here."

The oldest wolf scoffed at him and then turned to his friends thinking that there might be some in the palace and he said, "Come on, old man. We know you got some."

"We're out of candy." Shifu said, getting annoyed.

As he planned to close the door, the wolf puts his foot on the door to stop him and that didn't sit well with the Grandmaster. The oldest wolf opened the door and folded his arms and told him, "They call it trick-or-treat for a reason. Maybe you didn't hear us correctly. Give us some candy or else."

"Or else what?"

"You get tricked by us." the youngest wolf added.

"And we'll do it too." the oldest wolf said.

Shifu tried his best not to lose his cool and he politely said, "We do not have candy here. We just gave some of them away to some trick-or-treaters a couple of hours ago."

"So...you're out? You must have some of it left."

"We are out of candy." Shifu enunciated.

As Shifu closed the door on them, the wolves decided that they won't stop at anything until they get their candy. The oldest wolf hatched up a plan to get on Shifu's nerves and he said, "Boys...time for a little Halloween trickery."

Shifu got back to meditating as he tried to regain his inner peace to avoid the situation that just happened earlier. 10 seconds in and another door is knocked. Shifu sighed exasperatedly and said, "What now?"

He might think it's those same boys again, so he walked up to the door and when he opens it, his surprise was that there was no one there. He was immediately suspicious to figure if someone is playing a trick on him because he hates surprises...or tricks. Then, he sees a note from the ground and he picks it up and reads, 'Are you ready to see three full moons?'

He got confused with that question and when he looked up, he sees the three wolves from behind, pulling down their pants and to his shock, he realized that those three boys were mooning the Grandmaster. They all started laughing hysterically and one of the wolves taunted him saying, "Kiss our butts, old guy!"

That made Shifu grow enraged at the boys' conduct and they ran off, but not before the oldest one came to him and placed his butt on his face and said, "I dare you to kiss it."

Then, he smacks it and runs out of there, laughing.

Shifu was completely furious at their conduct and just angrily muttered to himself as he went back inside, looking totally P'Oed at their blantant disrespect and immaturity. He got back on the steps of the Moon Pool and tried to forget about the whole thing.

Little did he know, it was far from over.

Suddenly, he hears the door open and then closed and he turns around and sees no one there. He didn't know whether if it was intruders or the Dragon Warrior playing a joke on him. He walks through the door and when he opened it, he saw no one there again. Somehow, he felt as if his mind was playing tricks on him. But he was unaware that someone was tugging on his robe and it quickly got removed.

Shifu looked down and saw that he was completely naked and when he turned around, he sees the middle wolf holding his robe and he said, "I may never look at you the same way again."

"Unhand my robe this instant!" Shifu shouted.

"First, you give us the candy!"

"I keep telling you, we are all out of candy!"

The young wolf chuckled softly and he said, "I guess we'll play a little game called 'Try to Catch Your Robe while you chase me around the Valley of Peace."

That made Shifu more angrier than ever to the fact that everyone would see the Grandmaster naked and he quickly snatched the robe and puts it back on. He stared at him, looking really furious and said, "You got five seconds to get out or..."

"Or you'll what?" the middle wolf taunted.

"Or you will get severely punished by me." Shifu added, menacingly.

The middle wolf shuddered sarcastically and he said, "I'm shaking in my legs right now. I'm about to be taken down by an old raccoon."

"I am a red panda!"

He looked at Shifu's species and didn't seem to care about it and he realized that he's not lke other giant pandas and he said, "Aren't pandas supposed to be like fat and stuff?"

"We have the Dragon Warrior."

"So what, is he like your son or something?"

Shifu's mouth dropped open and that provoked outrage to him thinking that Po would be his real father and he said, "Absolutely not! Now get out!"

He left the room and Shifu sighed angrily and cursed under his breath as he tried to regain what composure he had left and as he tried to get back to meditating, he suddenly got pummeled by water balloons and to his surprise, the oldest wolf and youngest wolf popped out and threw some at him.

Shifu was soaking wet and then the youngest wolf sprayed some silly string at him and threw a banana peel at his face. He removed the peel from his face and unfortunately for him, he slipped and fell down on the ground, leaving the two wolves laughing hysterically and mocking him.

Shifu got up and he definitely had enough of this mockery and he said, "Both of you, leave this instant!"

Suddenly, the middle wolf went in front of the other two and he said, "Not until we get what we want."

"I keep telling you, we are out of candy! What part do you have trouble understanding?" he shouted.

And then, the unthinkable happened. The oldest wolf eyed on Shifu's staff and when he came over, he picks it up and said, "I wonder if this stick breaks."

Shifu turns around and his anger level boiled from irritated to compltely enraged when he sees the oldest wolf grabbing Oogway's staff and he shouted, "YOU PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

"Hey, boys! Catch!"

He threw the staff around and Shifu tried to catch it, but the youngest wolf pushed him down and caught the stick and they both played around with it, thinking of ways to break it in half. Shifu tried to stop them, but every chance he could get, it ends up being pushed, shoved and tormented by those teen wolves.

"If you break that staff...so help me you will receive a painful punishment." Shifu said, menacing.

"Who's gonna stop us?"

Shifu's face grew from strict to furious in a quick second and said in a menacing tone, "Me."

All the wolves laughed at him and the oldest one told him, "You? You're just a puny little raccoon!"

Shifu grew red in the face and screamed angrily, "I'M A RED PANDA! A RED PANDA, DAMMIT! GET IT THROUGH YOUR UNEDUCATED HEADS!"

The oldest wolf just scoffed at him, like he's not listening and said, "Whatever! Piss off!"

Then, he walked out of the door, spat on the stick with mounds of saliva and managed to urinate parts of it and threw the staff down on the ground and started laughing maniacally as did the other wolves and that drove Shifu to the brink of a anger-fueled rage to see him do that. The oldest wolf said, "What's so special about that stupid-looking stick, besides standing on it to attract ugly girls?"

All of the wolves left the palace and then, the oldest one said, "We'll be back...at midnight so you better bring in the candy, you old fag!"

Little did he know, they were going to the Sacred Peach Tree to hang out there and Shifu never felt this angry before when three young kids would totally disrespect him like that over some candy. He quickly went out of the palace and when he went to the steps, he saw it laying near the entrance. Luckily, it was still in good condition but was suddenly outraged when there was spit and wolf urine on the staff.

"Oh, they're so gonna wish they never messed with Master Shifu." Shifu said, in an angry menacing tone.

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><p>I don't really approve of swearing on my fics, but I had to put this out of my system. Besides, when you mess with Shifu, he'll put the hurt on ya. But on the next chapter, it's gonna be a little different. So...how'd I do on this?<p> 


	2. Tables Are Turned

Well...we pick up where we left off. Those three wolves will have names in this and this time, it's the wolves' turn to get themselves pranked. Shifu will be the mastermind...but he's not alone.

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><p>Chapter 2: Tables Are Turned<p>

As an hour went by, Shifu was still meditating in the Moon Pool, but was still enraged over the three young wolves' conducts and immature behavior that was brought in the palace. Suddenly, he hears someone come in and he quickly ran to the door and kicked someone in the head, thinking it was the wolves. But when he looked outside, he sees Musaki laying there, groaning in pain.

Shifu realized his mistake and he said, "I'm sorry, Musaki. I thought it was one of those rapscallion ragamuffins."

Musaki groaned and then turned to Shifu and asked, "Rapscallion raga-who?"

Shifu sighed heavily and replied, "It's a long story."

Later on, he explained everything to him, Arizona, Ruiz, Shing, Kazuo, Po and the Five about what happeneds and everyone was in shock over this. And then, they showed him the staff and when Musaki asked him to smell it, he started gagging over the aroma of urine and spit on that staff and asked, "Who would be stupid enough to mess with something from Oogway?"

Tigress answered that question and replied, "Some immature hooligans, I bet."

"What was the situation about?" asked Arizona.

"Over some candy." Shifu answered.

The reaction in the room was dumbfounding, especially to Tigress. She asked, "All that just for some candy?"

"Unfortunately, yes. The oldest wolf is clearly the instigator here."

Arizona was curious to know about this and he asked, "How old is he?"

"About your age."

He was taken aback by the fact that the oldest one is 17 years of age and he asked, "That's it?"

"Yes. And the others-16 and 15."

Monkey couldn't believe what he was hearing-a couple of teenagers out trick or treating on Halloween night and he asked, "Aren't they a little too old for trick-or-treating?"

"Yeah, they should put an age limit on it." Po said, gobbling down all the candy while on his costume.

Tigress snatched the bag of candy from Po and she said, "I'm sure they don't allow 24 year olds to trick-or-treat with younger kids."

"Hey! Most adults trick-or-treat." Po argued.

"When they're not in their late 20's." Crane added.

"So? I'm 24...and three quarters...and a half. Who are you to judge?"

Shifu snapped at Po and said, "Focus, panda!"

He shut himself up and then quickly shoved a piece of chocolate in his mouth and started chewing it and then swallowed it whole and burped loudly. Musaki rolled his eyes and he said, "You're a chocoholic."

"Choco-what?" Po asked, confusedly.

"You're addicted to chocolate, Po." Tigress replied.

"I am not!"

"That doesn't explain the chocolate on your mouth, choco-lips." Musaki added.

That made Tigress laugh and she gave Musaki a high-five for that comment and she said, "You made a funny."

"If we can move on..." Shifu said, irritated.

All of them focused their attention on Shifu and his growing rage and he said, "What do we do? These boys need to be taught a lesson not to mess with the best kung-fu master of China."

"What do you want us to do?" asked Monkey.

Shifu then looked at Monkey and it's like a light bulb went off on his head and he said, "Monkey...I want you to prank these wolves."

Monkey didn't expect that coming from his master about pulling pranks and he said, "Are you sure, master? I mean...wouldn't that be considered something you wouldn't let me do?"

Shifu let out a devious smirk on his face and said, "It's okay, Monkey. This time, I'm giving you full permission to do some of your pranks. After all, you are the king of all pranks."

"Uh, where does that leave me?" asked Po.

"An amateur."

Monkey started laughing and he said, "He's got you there, Po."

Just then, Shifu explained to them a huge plan to get those wolves back and everyone completely went onboard with it. Shifu let out a devious smile and said, "Come midnight...you will get what you want, but it's not candy."

Just then, midnight comes forth and all three wolves stepped in the steps of the palace with spray guns and other stuff to prank Shifu and the oldest one whispered, "You ready?"

"Heck yeah, Raichu. More than anything." the youngest wolf added.

Raichu kicked the door down and got supersneaky with his crew, wanting to find Shifu and see if he did what they said, but then he sees the bowl of candy and all of them ran over to get some, but then he sees someone's hand in there.

"Hey, Rai. Why is there a hand on the candy bowl?" asked the middle wolf.

"How the heck should I know, Lucario?" Raichu asked.

As he was getting some, he could feel the grasp of the hand clutching him, giving him a shocked and creeped out expression. He tries to break free, but it keeps grabbing. He turned to the others and said, "Don't just stand there. Pull me out!"

They tried to help him out and when they freed him, he could see the hand still on his paw. He started screaming in fear as he removed it. He started shaking and asked, "Is it real?"

The youngest wolf seemed frightened about what's happening and when he turned around, he sees a panda being hanged with his eyes open, provoking him to scream like a little girl and when the body fell on top of him, he screamed, "Get him off! Get him off!"

The other two seemed scared about this and Lucario asked, "What's going on?"

"I-I-I don't know." Raichu said, in a squeaky tone.

Both of them backed away slowly and then, they bumped into something and when they turned around, they see someone carrying a tiger's head and both of them screamed in terror and they tried to get out the palace, but not without the youngest wolf.

"W-Where's Mochi?" asked Lucario, in fear.

"Someone has to go there and find him." Raichu whispered.

They both went back and then, they see Mochi with a dead body on top of him and they removed it from him and Raichu asked, "Are you okay?"

Mochi was traumatized by this image and he replied, "Dead body...all over me."

And then, two other wolves came from behind with knives with blood splattering over and one said, "Who wants wolf for dinner tonight?"

"I know I do."

All three wolves huddled together, shaking in fear and they felt like they were gonna get killed any moment and then, they seek a walking dead fat panda coming in and he said, "Awesome..."

The others went in front of the scared wolves and one told him, "Look up."

All three looked up and saw their pranked victim with a knife stuck on his back and they realized that he killed himself and Raichu tried to wake him up, but he got his hand grabbed and his eyes were open and whispered, "You're next in line to die."

Raichu got too scared that he completely peed on himself and started whimpering in fear and something crawled up behind him and it was a bug and he started screaming loudly and the other two got too scared that they both ended up peeing on themselves and then the undead fat panda went over and mooned them as well and he said, "Kiss...my...boot-ay!"

All of them ran away in fear and left the palace screaming 'haunted!' at the top of their lungs. Soon enough, everyone else started laughing hysterically and Shifu smiled at his students and said, "Well done. Those boys will think twice before messing with me."

He turned to Monkey and applauded him with his fake hand gag and he said, "You've done well."

"Thanks, master."

And he turned to Po and he said, "The moment you revealed your fat butt to those boys, I knew you'd do something outrageous. And I thank you for it."

Po chuckled softly and he said, "Thanks, Shifu. Wanna kiss it?"

Shifu wanted to whack him in the head, but he let both Tigress and Musaki take it from here. Tigress whacked him in the head first and she gave it to Musaki to whack him in the butt as well and they both said, "Not a freakin' chance, dude!"

"Kiss your own butt...if you can reach it." Tigress added, with a smirk on her face.

Arizona chuckled softly and he told Musaki, "Okay, now this is the best halloween ever."

"So's mine, Arizona. So's mine." Shifu added.

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><p>Well...that's it! Hope ya'll like it.<p> 


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